Lesson 2: Trouble with Transitions

Photo by: Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Introduction

Have you ever been to a park and seen a mother struggling to get her toddler to leave the sandbox? The moment she decides it's time to go, the child collapses to the ground, kicking and screaming in protest. Or perhaps you've watched a father trying to coax his child into the bath after dinner, only for the toddler to run away in tears and throw a toy in frustration. These are common examples of toddlers struggling with transitions.

While moments like these can be difficult, they show an important element of early childhood development: the ability to manage transitions and adapt to new situations. This skill is important for everyday routines and prepares children for more structured environments, such as school. Researchers Martinelli and Anderson (n.d.) state that having control over their environment through routines and predictability helps children feel safe and secure, reducing anxiety and building confidence as they navigate daily transitions. As a parent, you have the power to help your toddler by providing them with the stability of routines. 

A study was conducted by researchers Blair and Raver to determine which qualities are important for demonstrating school readiness. Kindergarten teachers, who were asked to rank the most essential skills and abilities, highlighted the importance of children being well-nourished and rested, able to express their needs verbally, showing enthusiasm and curiosity toward new activities, paying attention and following directions, behaving appropriately, and being sensitive to the feelings of others (Blair & Raver, 2015). Developing transition skills in early childhood can contribute to a smoother adjustment to the demands of a classroom setting and support overall success in school.

Transitions

In early childhood, transitions occur when children shift from one setting, activity, or experience to another. Researchers Wilder et al. (2006) state that these changes often involve adjusting to new routines, expectations, and social interactions, which can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, anxiety, or confusion. It is common for young children to become upset when they need to transition from a task they enjoy to a less enjoyable one. Van den Akker et al. (2022) tell us that toddlers can show their feelings by crying, screaming, falling to the floor, running away, and even throwing something. Children with developmental delays can have a particularly difficult time, though. Martinelli and Anderson (n.d.) found that toddlers may struggle to understand and adapt to changes in routine, have limited communication skills, or experience sensory processing challenges. Providing consistent support and using effective transition strategies can help ease these challenges and promote a smoother adjustment for all children.

There are many times throughout the day that transitions take place. It occurs anytime your child starts or stops an activity. An article written by the Head Start organization says that how toddlers respond can vary based on their temperament, developmental stage, and individual needs (2024). Some examples of times for transitions to occur are between any of the following activities: moving from playtime to lunch, having to stop playing at the park to go home, leaving the dinner table to go to the bath, or wanting to switch to a different activity. Although transitions can be challenging, they also offer valuable opportunities for parents and caregivers to help children adapt and feel more prepared for these shifts. Watch the following video for the first four minutes. It is made by working professionals in the field, but not researchers, who give additional information on transitions. 

Now that you have watched the video, which strategies stood out to you the most? How do you think these approaches could help your child during transitions? Are there any specific tips you're excited to try with your child?

Why Transitions Are Difficult 

Children with emotional dysregulation often struggle to control their emotions. When something “triggers” them, such as a transition, it can be difficult to help them calm down. Researchers Butler and Ostrosky say that understanding your child’s specific needs and abilities can help you plan accordingly and hopefully avoid the tantrums that may be caused by transitions (2018). This lesson will introduce strategies and tools to help your toddler move from one activity to another with fewer meltdowns. Let’s begin by looking at this example. 

Mary is a toddler who enjoys many activities, but she often becomes too invested in her favorites. Oftentimes, when her mother tells her it is time for a different activity, Mary frequently has a meltdown. Smoothly transitioning from one activity to another is a challenge for Mary. Record your responses to the questions below in your journal. 

• What do you think about Mary’s situation? 

• How can her mother help her learn to control her emotions during a transition? 

• What are some techniques that you use to help your own child during transitions? 

  
  

Preventative Techniques/Tools to Help with Transitions 

When my (Alicia) daughter with developmental delays was a toddler, we struggled with transitions, especially when it came to getting out of the pool during the summer. Even though her lips were shaking and her skin was cool, she wouldn't want to get out. We learned to give her countdowns on how much time was left before it was time to get out. At first, she had trouble with the countdowns because she felt I was taking her fun away. It wasn't long before she understood that it was a way to help her prepare for the change, and eventually, she became more willing to transition out of the pool without much resistance. It worked so well during pool time that I used the countdown technique in other areas of her daily life, like from play time to meal times, which helped her to adjust more easily to transitions.

Research conducted by Zaryczny tells us that there are many strategies parents could use to help prevent transition tantrums (2020). Here are several that you could start to incorporate into your toddler’s routine. 

• Tell your toddler the schedule for the day and remind him or her of the schedule throughout the day.

  • Some children have a difficult time with a transition when they do not know it is going to happen. Communicating a daily schedule with your toddler can help with this challenge. Butler and Ostrosky state that reminding them often of the things you have planned for the day and how long they will have to do a certain activity can reduce resistance (2018). Additionally, providing them with ample time to prepare can make transitions feel more manageable.

• Utilize the phrase “First, then”

  • Using the “First, then” approach can help your toddler understand what will happen next after completing a task or activity. For example, you might say, “First, put away your shoes, then you may play with the toy.” This simple technique can also be used in a reward system to encourage positive behavior. By connecting a non-preferred activity to a preferred reward, toddlers can learn that positive actions lead to positive outcomes.

• Have the next activity prepared. 

  • Another strategy to prevent a meltdown is to “have all the materials for the next activity prepared” before you tell your toddler that it is time to transition (Butler & Ostrosky, 2018). For example, you would want to have dinner prepared and on the table before telling your toddler it is time to sit down to eat. This way, when you say, “It's time to eat,” your child can immediately shift to the new activity without unnecessary waiting, which can reduce frustration and resistance.

• Telling your toddler that it's cleanup time can help the child understand that it is time for a transition.  

  • Cleaning up when finished with an activity is a common struggle. When toddlers decide they are done with an activity, encouraging them to help with cleanup can promote responsibility and make transitions smoother. Turning clean-up time into a fun activity can change an unpleasant chore into an enjoyable game. One idea to make cleanup more like a game is asking your toddler to “shoot” toys into a bin as if they were making a basketball shot. Another way to make tidying up more interesting is to sing a clean-up song until everything is put away. This playful routine helps keep your child engaged until the task is complete. Here is a fun song you can use for cleanup time. 

    
    
    
    

• As you watch the following video, beginning at 1:40, which provides practical demonstrations of the research-backed principles we’ve discussed, think about any transitions your child has struggled with. Do any of the strategies shown in the video remind you of techniques you've already tried? Additionally, download and print this document to help organize your thoughts and insights as you watch the video. Graphic Organizer .dotx 

  
  
  
  

Reflection and Next Steps

Now that you have learned some strategies to help your toddler during transitions, it is time for you to put your knowledge into action. Discuss the following scenario with another person, preferably someone who interacts with your toddler regularly. Make sure you collaborate on how to handle the situation and explore the next possible steps parents could take. 

Scenario

Toby is a 30-month-old toddler who loves to play at the park, especially building sandcastles in the sandbox. His mother tries to allow him plenty of playtime at the park, but no matter how long they stay, Toby always has a meltdown when it is time to leave. She has tried to tell Toby that he can return to the park again tomorrow, but he doesn't want to leave. He also has trouble transitioning away from screen time and playing with toys at home. 

• How can Toby’s mother help her child transition away from these activities? 

• How could she individualize the strategies discussed in this lesson to meet Toby’s specific needs? 

• What steps could she take to better prepare for transitions in the future? 

• How would you handle this situation if you were in her position? 

  
  

After your discussion, click on the Forum tab and answer some questions about your experience. Collaborating and discussing with other parents and caregivers is a great way to reinforce your learning and gain new insights into managing transitions more effectively.

Conclusion

An AMS-certified Montessori Educator (2019) states that transitions can be hard for developmentally delayed toddlers because they have trouble regulating their emotions. Once you understand this, you can better understand your toddler’s needs and provide the support they require. Implementing some of the strategies discussed in this lesson can help your toddler manage transitions more effectively, setting them up for success in school and beyond. 

It doesn't need to be a battle every day. With patience, consistency, and the right approach, you can teach your child that they can handle changes and manage their emotions. Remember to always be patient, though. Change won’t happen overnight, and it may take some time for your toddler to accept the strategies you choose to incorporate into their transitions. However, with your guidance and persistence, they will learn and grow, making everyday transitions smoother for both of you.

Continue onto the next lesson which will focus on communication.

Sources

Blair, C., & Raver, C. C. (2015). School readiness and self-regulation: A developmental psychobiological approach. Annual Review of Psychology, 66(1), 711–731. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015221

Butler, A. M., & Ostrosky, M. M. (2018). Reducing challenging behaviors during transitions: Strategies for early childhood educators to share with parents. NAEYC. https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/sep2018/reducing-challenging-behaviors-during-transitions

Martinelli, K., & Anderson, D. (n.d.). Why do kids have trouble with transitions?. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/why-do-kids-have-trouble-with-transitions/

HeadStart, 2024, Transitions can be experienced differently, HeadStart.gov, https://headstart.gov/transitions/article/transitions-can-be-experienced-differently

Theresa. (2019). Tackling transitions with a toddler. Montessori in Real Life. https://www.montessoriinreallife.com/home/2019/4/22/tackling-transitions-with-toddler

Van den akker, Alithe L.; Hoffenaar, Peter; Overbeek, Geertjan. (2022) Temper tantrums in toddlers and preschoolers: Longitudinal associations with adjustment problems. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics 43(7), 409-417. https://doi.org/10.1097/DBP.0000000000001071

Wilder, D. A., Chen, L., Atwell, J., Pritchard, J., & Weinstein, P. (2006). Brief functional analysis and treatment of tantrums associated with transitions in preschool children. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 39(1), 103–107. https://doi.org/10.1901/jaba/2006.66-04

Zaryczny, V. (2020, August 7). 6 transition activities for preschoolers and toddlers. Learning Without Tears. https://www.lwtears.com/blog/6-transition-activities-preschoolers-and-toddlers?srsltid=AfmBOoqfpios-RsMst4k21is81QvUkXtRs49AZ7HTYOvFXEL8IMt6PE5